<ray>: all you have to do is pay your CLIQUE taxes
…And then it was law.
You may not be able to tell from this simple sentence, but it was implied that I was to have the burden of coming up with the rules for paying the CLIQUE tax. I don’t really think paying the CLIQUE money is a good idea, and I feel terrible for having to come up with the rules and enforce them, but it’s my job. I think you’ll be able to tell from these simple rules that I’m looking out for everyone’s best interests.
First of all, all non-CLIQUE members must pay taxes to the CLIQUE members. However, CLIQUE members that pronounce it (or have pronounced it) as “kleek” do not get any of the money. The money that would have gone to them goes to me (Again, sorry).
The amount of money you owe is based on several things, so pay attention. We will be checking everyone’s tax forms and people that don’t pay will…well no one’s ever been stupid enough not pay up.
You start with the base amount. This is a flat rate of $50 + $100 dollars for every month after January 1st, 1990 that you weren’t alive. Then you add an amount based on how often you visit the #alephone chatroom. If you are there less than 11 hours a day, you pay $10 for every hour you weren’t there. If you are there for 13 or more hours in a day, you pay $10.50 for every hour you were there. If you were there from 11-13 hours in a day, you pay $20,000 for every second it took me to write this.
If you don’t want to pay the CLIQUE tax, the only way out of it is to collect the amount owned by 100 people that aren’t in the community and give it to me.
I hope you realize that these rules were carefully thought out, and that your interests are what matter to us most. Have a good day.
(If you did not like this post, you will have to double your CLIQUE tax).