Thanks to Treellama and THE LORD for inspiration and help.

The Twelve Days of CLIQUEmas (Note that I mess up especially on Day 11, where I use an older lyric, “Eleven cashes burning.”) Lyrics?

On the first day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
A single Dude, seriously.

On the second day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the third day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the fourth day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the fifth day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Five Fat Sams,
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the sixth day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Six hot French sisters,
Five Fat Sams,
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the seventh day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Seven TERMs FORBIDDEN,
Six hot French sisters,
Five Fat Sams,
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the eighth day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Eight dubblbubbls,
Seven TERMs FORBIDDEN,
Six hot French sisters,
Five Fat Sams,
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the ninth day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Nine GIANT DOUCHES,
Eight dubblbubbls,
Seven TERMs FORBIDDEN,
Six hot French sisters,
Five Fat Sams,
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the tenth day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Ten INFINITYS,
Nine GIANT DOUCHES,
Eight dubblbubbls,
Seven TERMs FORBIDDEN,
Six hot French sisters,
Five Fat Sams,
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the eleventh day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Eleven Tor Node Wikis,
Ten INFINITYS,
Nine GIANT DOUCHES,
Eight dubblbubbls,
Seven TERMs FORBIDDEN,
Six hot French sisters,
Five Fat Sams,
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously.

On the twelfth day of CLIQUEmas,
Ryoko sent to me
Twelve Olmecs eating,
Eleven Tor Node Wikis,
Ten INFINITYS,
Nine GIANT DOUCHES,
Eight dubblbubbls,
Seven TERMs FORBIDDEN,
Six hot French sisters,
Five Fat Sams,
Four It is strongs,
Three loch nits,
Two if/then/ands,
And a single Dude, seriously!