You probably saw this coming from a mile away, so I might as well get started with zero preamble.

(Try to read between the lines a little bit more)

Now that MARARTHON has officially taken its own life, there are a few things I’d like to get off my chest. I mean, they’ve bothered me for something like a year. That’s a long time if you think about it. (Also, I have the gift of Bourbon, so truth is coming more naturally to me at the moment.)

(Try to read between the lines a little bit more)

Thanks to Treellama and THE LORD for inspiration and help.

The Twelve Days of CLIQUEmas (Note that I mess up especially on Day 11, where I use an older lyric, “Eleven cashes burning.”) Lyrics?

(Try to read between the lines a little bit more)

I’m moving the list of Pfhorums topics I don’t want to forget to JFO by request.

BOOM BEBBY!
I find this creepy
Marathon Game Launcher
CryoS’s little room of art.
Flooding Marathon
Infinity problem
scripting
The pfhorums are my family
Oppression
Lh’owon Swamp Romp
iBaby
Marathon : Apotheosis
Pictures of you
A Note on Mariusnet and attempting to impersonate admins
can someone help
can someone help
Dusk Textures
Just gave Halo a try.. I am shocked
Connection issues
OpenGL + Vista
Zomgodz I found the connection
Proof that JUICE is here
/!\
Meatmanek
Marathon Ladder
I am not Goran… Leave me alone
Netgames now support more than 8 players!
Guests
And what is your Lama number
-Untitled-
Pfhortipfhy’s birthday!
JUICEMAN
Demotional
Post count?
Hey Dudes!
Map Making Tool for A1
Natural Language
You almost kickban people?
What is the Clique?
Viva La Vida
We can’t let this happen
Marathon limericks
Current state of the Marathon community in your opinion
Questions about fileball
Possible Scratchbuilt Marathon 3D Game
Plea against Johnny_Strabler
CLIQUE members only.
Random Help
Something that should be looked into
Crator Creater smells nice
Infinity Marbles
spirit of the age

(Try to read between the lines a little bit more)

Marathon is the German Language of first-person shooters.

It is at times cumbersome, often full of subtleties, reviled or ignored by most unacquainted with its charm. To whom, then, do our own CLIQUE minds correspond?

Ryoko: Richard Wagner. Wagner is known for his dramatic, romantic, overblown musical style, the themes of which were eventually adopted by the Nazis. Ryoko’s maps are crazy big, grandiose, and so on. And he’s a Nazi.

He deserves nothing he has.

Treellama: Thomas Mann. Mann was an astounding writer, and is one of my personal favorites. He opposed the Nazis and went into exile during World War II. Treellama is pretty reasonable, and he privately hates CLIQUE. Like Treellama, Mann had better things to do than hang around those losers.

you guys are so negative :(

W’rkncacnter: This is where it gets tricky. I’m going with Karl Marx on the grounds that communism = JUICE.

HALF OF MY TEAM IS NOW OUT OF JAIL.

Thermoplyae: Thermo is kind of mysterious. He also likes numbers. Therefore, the most suitable choice is Gottfired Leibniz, one of two losers who invented calculus, and the man who brought us binary. I’m sure he would be just as content to program in ML as Thermo is.

*spills dixie cup beer*

Ray: If anyone had owned an imageboard based on Germany back in the day, it would have been Goethe. Let’s look at Goethe’s masterpiece, Faust, from a Ray’s perpective—that is to say, Faust v. Mephistopheles: King of Fighters Romanticism Edition!!

then you will be 1/infinity as cool as me

Irons: I’m half-genius, half-crazy. People try to understand me and usually fail (unless they are my CLIQUE contemporaries). I created an übermensch named Hotmodal. I am Nietzsche.

loch nits olmec taps you the eight-foot-tall Burton

ahuxley was nice enough to list some bad CLIQUE habits for us:

• tight tunnels
• light up stairways
• ledges
• dead ends
• lots of detail in a box room
• strip lights along a long straight tight tunnel
• doors to no where
• height as some ‘feature’
• all the junk people pass of as ‘creative’

This is a very convenient list, because if you want to be in the CLIQUE, you will never get there without first making a map with all these bad habits. And, if you want to rebel against the CLIQUE, then you need to make a map with none of these bad habits.

As I sit here, listen to gay stripper electro music, and explore the long-lost contents from my first laptop’s hard disk, I can’t help but succumb to the barrage of Marathon memories that come from that magical “AlephOne” folder located in my ancient home directory. Please remember with me…

…The odd little moment in the same group chat that prompted RyokoTK to utter the phrase “this shit is bananas”…

…The Bad Map Showdown between Ryoko and W’rkncacnter summer 2005 that culminated in the creation of Super Cool Kill Zone and its slightly superior friend, Carnage Vila 46…

……

…Hawkeyefile…

…Aleph One RPG, to which I sacrificed an entire night’s sleep. I didn’t know about tables in Lua, or much else, but I was damned if I let a few dozen if/then statements stop me. There was only one thing I could do: create the most revolutionary scenario ever seen by man, one line at a time, winning over people like W’rk, never stopping, never firing…

…The result of AORPG…

…Three Middle Fingers…

…Crashes and uncertainty for Marathoners and the impending Pfhorums apocalypse during the winter of 2005–2006, which culminated in BenUrban’s takeover of the #alephone IRC channel. Little did he know it would all end for him some day…

…Godot…

……

…The big dreams of a regular guy named Assassingao…

…Victory Dance I–holder of a million tomorrows, several simplici7y maps, a wall-climbing extravaganza, and something special from Goran himself. VDI really did suck, but who cared to say so at the time? Not I…

…Pfhortran…

…MOTHAFUCKA_TARGET…

…Pfhorums v0.0, Secret Leaked Beta Edition, Land of Dreams and of Nightmares…

…The first (and supposedly last) time I left Marathon because of real-life issues. Good thing I never came back…

…The time MoppyPuppy came to the AlephOne chatroom on AOL Instant messenger and complained that he had recently been raped by lesbians at the beach, in an incident involving leather straps, a pole of imprisonment, and oil…

…The first moments of nausea after the initial dozen links from Hentai Sama. After that dozen, it is all a blur…

…Film.mp4…

…Signing up to get active on the Alt.Games.Marathon newsgroup…

…My old habit of hosting games lasting 15 or 20 minutes, almost always on Beyond Thunderdome. There exist videos of such things, and one of my favorites is HR, Kim Lao, and me in a savage fight to the death that spans dozens of kills…

…When SBO not only had news, but exciting news…

…The first-ever Internet game c/o Aleph One’s developers…

…The downloads and debates over the Aleph One nightly builds, which used such startling new features as the metaserver and in-game chat. The same nightly builds that gave Treellama mind-shredding nightmares. The same nightly builds that hosted KawaiiPet’s Lua Olympic Games…

…loch…………………………………………..

Ever since my first official loch episode almost exactly one year ago, I’ve held an unexpected fascination with the concept and its execution. The official definition of loch (as seen in its AlephWiki article) covers very little:

An adjective, verb, or interjection characterized by bizarre behavior, especially in verbal form. loch is used most often in conjunction a person whose words are sheer nonsense.

What started as a way to make fun of guys like ahuxley and me has turned into so much more (for me, anyway). loch is at once a restrictive machine-generated lack of human input and a full-blown stream of human consciousness. The original incident stemmed from text messages I plopped across the board in careful fashion. It was a combination of word-association and calculated (that is to say, non-random) randomness. I’ve begun to admire loch in many different forms. For example, it appears in my own writing (especially here [mild], here [medium], and here [severe]); the pieces of both Underworld and Boredoms contain lyrical or musical loch; I admire a few loch-style programs and have kludged my own; I’m not so much into the visual stuff yet, but that may change.

In fact, loch resembles the old Dada movement. I believe there is a distinction, but right now I’m hard-pressed to find it. To start, Dada was man-made, deliberate, and a “movement.” Most experts interpret loch as a force or phenomenon, something that can not be controlled and that will likely damage you if you play with it too much. After all, look at me. Fitting into the “primal force” aspect of loch in the face of Dada, there are two incarnations of loch: the Loch Nits Monster and Syringe Guy (not to mention the horrendous combination of the two). As totems/folk characters/heroes/villains, these two beings give loch a life of its own. Another odd facet of loch comes from the process behind its fabrication: it came from me even though I was in direct opposition to Dada. loch doesn’t want to be itself.

No BS.

I thought I’d put the List to good use and run it through my locher. This first result (usually the only one that counts) is excellent:

BS Stomped. you JUICE WELL! found is creates
the burn THE VISUAL LORD the Story anything is
THIS ON so I’ve if…then…and no Why dubblbubbl community
single-handedly can’t AWAY I incest have. CLIQUE Loves Burton
cash TO you Me Must jokes don’t To fun
orz Taps Be You Wrk is MODE is it
Hose JIHADIC diluted. what :C stop. Please done (No
see Giant Free you FUCKING GET RyokoTK Board Prahblum
THE Barley. tall SHIT Be Pussy and deserve loch/nits
ruining Irons; Beast FROM stupad, WEB out. Psycho There
GO just please) stupad part Dude/seriously Nobody ect Eternal
Blood eight-foot Douche/Huge ALL INFINITYS the For strong. the
Ignorance Catholic CLUCKED ‘ke

I guess it’s not all that great to catalogue in-jokes and such, but there have to be some good ones that are slipping out of our memory. So here is what I remember:

:C
Barley.
Best of luck to all of you in the future.
cash and burn
Catholic
Chat Cabal
CLIQUE
CLUCKED
d0×9B5:TERMISFORBIDDEN
dubblbubbl
Dude/seriously
ect is the fun part
Eternal Story Board
fuck, you
GERT HLIM AD GT THE FALG!
GET MARARTHON
Giant Douche/Huge Pussy
I GO ON THE FUCKING WEB TO GET AWAY FROM THIS SHIT
if…then…and
Ignorance creates the diluted.
INFINITYS
it is strong.
Its really big/is a given
JIHADIC
JUICE
‘ke
little toybox of failure
loch/nits
Magnanimous thanks,
mail frame idea
no BS
Nobody Loves Me
(No incest jokes please)
ONE WAY
orz
‘parents
Please stop.
Prahblum
Psycho Hose Beast
RyokoTK is single-handedly ruining the community
Stomped.
Stupad, so stupad
Taps you the eight-foot tall Burton
THE LORD
themselfs
To Be Free There Must Be Blood For ALL
Try to read between the lines a little bit more in the future, Tl.
u no … or do u

Vale,

 

VISUAL MODE
WELL!
Why can’t you see what I’ve done
WHY WAS / I BANNED
Wrk is Irons; just found out.
[XM]
You don’t deserve anything you have.

That’s all I can think of now, but check back periodically to see if I’ve updated. (And let me know if I missed anything important!)