December 29, 2008

There is no sense

Patrick: W’rknmiah 4:23-27

Hotmodal beheld the traxus wiki,
And, loch, mararthon’s status was dead and dying;
And the name servers, and they had n0×9B5:TERMISFORBIDDEN

Hotmodal beheld the peacks, and, loch, they had prahblums.
And all the colours of the friggin’ rainbow had freely bled.

Hotmodal beheld, and, loch, there were no pfhorums,
And all the pigeons of infinitys were fled.

Hotmodal beheld, and, loch, simplici7y was a wilderness,
And all the maps thereon were taken down
At the presence of THE LORD,
and before His fierce 4GETfulness.

For thus saith THE LORD:
The whole community shall be ruined;
Yet RyokoTK will do it single-handedly.

olmec: *IMAGE*, Forbidden, News, Pfhorums, Serious, Simplici7y, Theory, meta (meta is the best word ever) + tapped to you by irons @ 10:06 am

December 8, 2008

Further Proof That Marathon Is Dying

olmec: Community Commentary, Pfhorums, Serious, Sites + tapped to you by irons @ 12:54 am

November 6, 2008

Wrk’s List

I’m moving the list of Pfhorums topics I don’t want to forget to JFO by request.

BOOM BEBBY!
I find this creepy
Marathon Game Launcher
CryoS’s little room of art.
Flooding Marathon
Infinity problem
scripting
The pfhorums are my family
Oppression
Lh’owon Swamp Romp
iBaby
Marathon : Apotheosis
Pictures of you
A Note on Mariusnet and attempting to impersonate admins
can someone help
can someone help
Dusk Textures
Just gave Halo a try.. I am shocked
Connection issues
OpenGL + Vista
Zomgodz I found the connection
Proof that JUICE is here
/!\
Meatmanek
Marathon Ladder
I am not Goran… Leave me alone
Netgames now support more than 8 players!
Guests
And what is your Lama number
-Untitled-
Pfhortipfhy’s birthday!
JUICEMAN
Demotional
Post count?
Hey Dudes!
Map Making Tool for A1
Natural Language
You almost kickban people?
What is the Clique?
Viva La Vida
We can’t let this happen
Marathon limericks
Current state of the Marathon community in your opinion
Questions about fileball
Possible Scratchbuilt Marathon 3D Game
Plea against Johnny_Strabler
CLIQUE members only.
Random Help
Something that should be looked into
Crator Creater smells nice
Infinity Marbles
spirit of the age

(Try to read between the lines a little bit more)

olmec: Community Commentary, Lists, Pfhorums + tapped to you by wrkncacnter @ 12:24 am

September 26, 2008

4GET MARARTHON

Do not 4GET the button.

Do not 4GET the button.

olmec: *IMAGE*, 4GET MARARTHON, Campaign, Pfhorums, Policy, Serious, Theory, Typography + tapped to you by irons @ 10:32 pm

August 13, 2008

And THE LORD called upon Man a shitstorm…

Nearly two years ago, Appleswitch bequeathed the power of administration upon Ryoko. What did Bobwithkeycard think? Cue shitstorm. I was fiddling around on this site earlier and I realized that Ryoko actually does a smooth job; so smooth that I didn’t think about it, and indeed, Ryoko’s admin powers seemed to me like unto a myth rather than a reality. (Kind of like CLIQUE.) What is the thought of our fair populace?

olmec: Flame War, Forbidden, People, Pfhorums, Policy + tapped to you by irons @ 6:53 pm

July 24, 2008

Memoires of a Disco Daddy Whore

As I sit here, listen to gay stripper electro music, and explore the long-lost contents from my first laptop’s hard disk, I can’t help but succumb to the barrage of Marathon memories that come from that magical “AlephOne” folder located in my ancient home directory. Please remember with me…

…The odd little moment in the same group chat that prompted RyokoTK to utter the phrase “this shit is bananas”…

…The Bad Map Showdown between Ryoko and W’rkncacnter summer 2005 that culminated in the creation of Super Cool Kill Zone and its slightly superior friend, Carnage Vila 46…

…Hawkeyefile…

…Aleph One RPG, to which I sacrificed an entire night’s sleep. I didn’t know about tables in Lua, or much else, but I was damned if I let a few dozen if/then statements stop me. There was only one thing I could do: create the most revolutionary scenario ever seen by man, one line at a time, winning over people like W’rk, never stopping, never firing…

The result of AORPG

…Three Middle Fingers…

…Crashes and uncertainty for Marathoners and the impending Pfhorums apocalypse during the winter of 2005–2006, which culminated in BenUrban’s takeover of the #alephone IRC channel. Little did he know it would all end for him some day…

…Godot…

Remember Irons image

…The big dreams of a regular guy named Assassingao…

…Victory Dance I–holder of a million tomorrows, several simplici7y maps, a wall-climbing extravaganza, and something special from Goran himself. VDI really did suck, but who cared to say so at the time? Not I…

…Pfhortran…

…MOTHAFUCKA_TARGET…

Pfhorums v0.0, Secret Leaked Beta Edition, Land of Dreams and of Nightmares…

…The first (and supposedly last) time I left Marathon because of real-life issues. Good thing I never came back…

…The time MoppyPuppy came to the AlephOne chatroom on AOL Instant messenger and complained that he had recently been raped by lesbians at the beach, in an incident involving leather straps, a pole of imprisonment, and oil…

…The first moments of nausea after the initial dozen links from Hentai Sama. After that dozen, it is all a blur…

Film.mp4

…Signing up to get active on the Alt.Games.Marathon newsgroup…

…My old habit of hosting games lasting 15 or 20 minutes, almost always on Beyond Thunderdome. There exist videos of such things, and one of my favorites is HR, Kim Lao, and me in a savage fight to the death that spans dozens of kills…

…When SBO not only had news, but exciting news

…The first-ever Internet game c/o Aleph One’s developers…

…The downloads and debates over the Aleph One nightly builds, which used such startling new features as the metaserver and in-game chat. The same nightly builds that gave Treellama mind-shredding nightmares. The same nightly builds that hosted KawaiiPet’s Lua Olympic Games…

…loch…………………………………………..

olmec: Aleph One, LEET KREW, Lists, People, Pfhorums, Serious + tapped to you by irons @ 12:52 am

June 24, 2008

Modern Literature and Assassingao

Over the past century society has been forced to come to terms with the rapidly quickening race to what we now refer to as the Information Age. While other basic instruments of permanent communication (paper, printing press, etc.) have been around for a while, it was really radio that sparked the mass dissemination of information we know as pop culture. Radio was something you could flip on while you chatted with your friends or while you cooked dinner, and in retrospect a key part to it was that it was too quick-moving to be pinned down by serious thought in the same way the written word could command and be commanded by intellect. Radio had a mental ceiling, a point past which you would lose the listener, and from radio to television to our grand Internet this limit has gotten steadily more restrictive. Radio and television were still in some sense inaccessible; you had to convince a publisher/producer that what you were doing was worth airing for the masses, and then the sheer number of people involved in the actual production and broadcast was enough both to keep the common man out of the backstage and to keep him tuned in. The Internet, however, has no such barrier; anyone with $30 of free income a month is capable of purchasing the service and sharing his worldview with anyone who cares to listen. Of course, the average person is unforgivably stupid, and so a better word for ’share’ is maybe something along the lines of ’spew.’ Luckily the sheer popularity of the device keeps any one voice from being heard too clearly, and instead there is a billion-man cacophony consisting in part of nuanced poetry and in part of advanced mathematics and science — icons of intellectual ability and roots of cultural infrastructure — but the vast majority contains just “lol ^_^” over and over.

This, our Internet, is the stage for an 18-year-old Thai boy who goes by the moniker “assassingao” (though among us proud and few admirers, we prefer to shorthand it as “Gao,” a practice I will use here). The trouble with stupidity is that it isn’t an emotional disability but an intellectual one. The average 18-year-old will not understand a religious argument, but he will still be incensed by it. Gao, however, is much more extreme than this; he is so amazingly, mind-numbingly vacant that he speaks straight from his soul. Indeed, many times he reaches beyond this and touches the soul of the everyman, and many more times he loses all ability to communicate and we see only flashes and fragments of ideas, coated in undecipherable gibberish, a veritable mind-dump of information. It is with this mindset that we must approach his works. Take, for instance, his fanfiction account. The second chapter of his (misleadingly titled) work Trying To Die, reads as:

“He cried. Soon, he laid on his futon. Still crying. A moment later, he drifted to sleep.”

This, right here, is something that everyone in his mid-20s can relate to. It is — it is damn near universal, substituting ‘futon’ for ‘park bench’ or ‘curb’ but keeping the same mode of thought. There is no one who hasn’t been there. Gao is an untapped vein of straight up human experience, and despite both Jon Irons and me pressuring him, he has decided to leave his writing career behind him without much comment. Luckily for us, he wrote his magnum opus of Marathon-related work before abandoning his duty as a human being, and while we regret his decision we are thankful for what we have.

Now, anyone can simply read Gao’s prose (dare I call it poetry?), and so I will try to restrict discussion to reading between the lines instead of discussing the surface material. (I suspect that this will lose steam pretty quickly; while every time I read Gao I find something new, my knowledge is still relatively small compared to the body of work itself, and we will run out of material in short order.) Let’s begin with Gao’s only other Marathon-related work. I’ll give you some time to read; try not to focus too hard on that surface content, look instead for those hidden messages, focus especially on the parts that tend towards nonsense.

First, there’s the comicbook-esque random boldfacing of words, but stringing them together makes it seem a lot less contrived. “Destiny built destiny,” Gao tells us, “it’s wrong.” Then, “dangerous spy tenth mjolnir battleroid,” and we have a working thesis for this piece. (Also, 7 words, plus the 3 from “tenth mjolnir battleroid,” coincidence?) And this at first glance might seem to be gibberish (worse, pulling gibberish out of gibberish), but if there is a God then he speaks through Gao, and this is where we must look if there is meaning to be had anywhere. The other place on the first page that this really turns to white noise is

emotions are same as humans.

If you squint, you can see the inspiration for the introduction of this post.

Here’s the second page. (As an aside: thinking about it now, Gao hasn’t ever really finished a story completely, and it’s possible that the philosophical quips are embedded largely in his introductions, where he doesn’t have to worry so much about the action. We may never know, since we don’t have a serious conclusion to compare against.) Gao spends the majority of this page writing (bad) action, drawing heavily on regurgitated Matrix-style imagery. This truly is the western mind laid bare. The only confusing point is the ending, where it is not clear if Gao fired the shots and his hands are messed up (could easily be heading for Gheritt White) or if Gao only noticed some time later that he didn’t actually fire the shock bolts. My bet is on the latter; it seems more his style based on — well, let’s revisit this point when we’re through with -Untitled-.

For you sorry saps who haven’t read -Untitled-, here’s a link to the relevant Pfhorums thread. Gao leads off by demonstrating utter mastery of the English language:

“Graaawl!” Laid there was the flick’ta, it was alive before it was killed by the marine just a second ago with his fists.

The amount of effort needed to decompose this impressively crafted sentence nearly registers on the Richter scale. Continuing on, we begin to get a feel for the story’s raison d’être; Gao is not interested in the portrayal of the Marine as a God-like figure and has instead put himself in the Marine’s shoes, transforming him into an idiot with a pistol. “Hello!” he shouts at the lifeless computer screen, and we can almost feel the spray of spittle and see the lazy eye. This is a man working with what he has. This is a common man.

Gao is also unafraid of bringing out tough topical items like homoeroticism:

he had sweat all over his body. He can take a lot of heat away from his hardware by just sweating.

The Pfhor are already an established vehicle for human oppression, and here he simply takes that one step farther. That it’s so subtle suggests that Gao himself may not even fully comprehend what he’s written. Here we see the mind of a 16-year-old male coming to grips with a — well, perhaps not a slippery sexuality, but at least one that’s at least a little greasy. Gao in addition makes a play at discussing the moral questions of the classic Man vs. Society struggle with the doppelgänger Marine, a manifestation of the Marine’s rage against his resurrection (since Blake is directly responsible for the creation of the S’acv) and his plans to help the secondary forces intertwined throughout the story. He fights, however, only with Blake, and he is handed his defeat because of it. The message Gao wishes to convey is that no one man is responsible for society’s actions or prahblums, that it is wrong to single someone out as a root cause.

I know that this isn’t really the post you guys wanted; when I speak of Gao it typically goes more along the lines of

thermoplyae: “‘Wake up’ Blake said while punching the marine’s head.”
thermoplyae: gao has clearly had a roommate before
jon_irons: a room mate named genius
thermoplyae: and one morning genius yelled “Wake up!” while it punched him in the head
jon_irons: let’s write a biography

but this is the post you’re getting. Gao deserves to be appreciated for what he’s brought into this world; you hardly need me to point out the funny parts. They are self-identifying. Again, the important point (and this is the point that ties it loosely to loch) is that Gao doesn’t know any better to cloak his thoughts in what he thinks society wants to hear, nor does he know any better to be something other than average. Sure, his work is meant to be enjoyed as it’s written, but it’s important to realize what it is that you’re reading to appreciate it fully. This is more than Gao; it is you and me, and Gao tells us without hesitation or remorse that we are the spittle on the screen.

As a parting gift, here’s an actual, honest-to-God conversation with Gao:

gao: I felt like a brain-dead zombie now
gao: When did it was?
gao: At least, here’s a fact: I never spam with less than one alphabet.
gao: I’m gonna play for a sex

Maybe that connection with loch isn’t so tenuous after all.

(Email Gao to tell him how much you appreciate him.)

olmec: Fanfic, People, Pfhorums, Theory, loch + tapped to you by thermoplyae @ 11:36 pm

June 18, 2008

No BS

Looks like someone missed the memo.

olmec: *LINK*, Pfhorums, Serious, Theory + tapped to you by irons @ 10:55 am

June 8, 2008

JUICEcast 3

SURPRISE! A special emergency JUICEcast 3 for all you JFOers. Good luck with this one.

Note (6/11/2008): I dug up the ridiculously huge original recording, which had the voices in one channel and the music in the other. I made the music at the end a little softer, so now you can at least hear what we’re saying. I think this makes JC3 somewhat listenable again—although still I can’t vouch for the actual content.

olmec: #a1, *AUDIO*, *LINK*, CLIQUE, JUICEcast, Pfhorums, Simplici7y, loch, meta (meta is the best word ever) + tapped to you by irons @ 9:17 am

June 5, 2008

Pfhorums: Birthday Celebration Assassination Attempt

As of 21:00 EST, the Pfhorums were experiencing various IPS driver errors. Appleswitch discovered a few problems in the database and soon began hunting for a functional backup. His last words before rebooting the server and going offline were, “Ironically, the one person I need right now is Tux0believer [sic].” JFO is proud to be the unofficial Marathon community while Pfhorums.com remains in this state. Welcome to our new users! You can enjoy some live chat on the Aleph One IRC channel: #alephone at irc.freenode.net. If you’re looking for a temporary messageboard, try Pfhorchan. And if you want to know everything good in the universe, keep reading this blog!

olmec: News, Pfhorums, Serious, meta (meta is the best word ever) + tapped to you by irons @ 10:24 am
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